Many people go into a relationship or are married because they need validation. Their primary need in a relationship is closeness, so much so that they cannot set healthy boundaries. They find it difficult to let go even when the relationship is unhealthy for them. The sad part is because of their neediness, many of […]
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO NEEDY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP Read More »
Most times, you can’t help who you get attracted to, but you can spot a relationship that will not be so fulfilling. Sometimes, these signs can come up later in the relationship – when you hit a rough patch, but more often, you can see these small red flags from the beginning. Below are some
3 Signs That Someone Is Emotionally Unavailable Read More »
Last week in my post on ‘The Art of Listening,’ I mentioned that we could use self-calming skills to help us while listening, but what are these skills, and how can we use them? Many of us already use these tools consciously sometimes. Self-soothing is the ability for one to calm themselves down after being
When clients come to me for coaching or therapy work, during the first meeting, all I do is listen. I listen and take notes as they state the problem; if I ask any questions, its purpose is clarity. I send a message with my body language and word choice that the person can tell me
The Art of Listening Read More »
I woke up a few weeks ago feeling sad as I watched helplessly a marriage disintegrate. In truth, the relationship had failed years earlier – we are just seeing the external manifestation. In the construction industry, we define building failure as a crack in any structural element (columns, beams, foundation, and roof members). This definition
A couple of weeks ago, I went to a friend’s house and saw his children playing a puzzle game. Immediately, I had a rush of positive feelings from my childhood; my mother bought some games for us – puzzles, Monopoly, snake and ladder, crossword puzzles, etc. We regularly had Saturdays we tagged game day; on
Your Family Culture Read More »
Last weekend, I had the privilege to talk to a group of single ladies in church; I spoke to them about the wheel of life and its importance in having a fulfilling existence. Sometimes, I am worried for our youths, especially those from the middle belt of Nigeria. We have many of them focused only
Last week we talked about the loss of bond as one of the reasons people cheat. But you may have seen or heard of couples that are happy and yet one partner strays. The revelation of such affairs can be hurtful to the betrayed partner, sometimes leading to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The reasons people
COMMON REASON PEOPLE CHEAT 2 Read More »
A newlywed young Jewish woman; Bluma Zeigarnik sat in a café in Vienna and watched as professional waiters listened and took large orders from a good number of people without writing anything down. Then she watched as the waiters hurried from table to kitchen to table remembering everything the customers asked for. However, when she
THE ZEIGARNIK EFFECT Read More »
Often, the honeymoon phase comes to an end when the couple begins to become more aware of each other’s weaknesses. This phase which I will like to refer to as ‘the disenchantment phase’, partners begin to get irritated by the very attribute about their partner that once attracted them. Quiet and patient begins to look
AFTER THE HONEYMOON Read More »
