Last week we talked about the loss of bond as one of the reasons people cheat.

But you may have seen or heard of couples that are happy and yet one partner strays. The revelation of such affairs can be hurtful to the betrayed partner, sometimes leading to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The reasons people could cheat despite being happy in their marriage vary but here are a few;

–           The search for novelty or a desire to explore sexual fantasies one’s partner may be unwilling to explore

–           Association with the wrong crowd

–           Unresolved past abuse and trauma

–           Sex addiction

–           The couple living apart for very long periods

What Can Couples Do?

Whatever the reason for cheating, the straying partner is responsible for their actions and choices. However, there are a few things a couple can do together to help each other remain faithful.

Creating a safe relationship where both partners talk freely about their fantasies and negotiate what they are both comfortable with trying in the bedroom. Often one partner is more adventurous than the other. Still, it is essential to create a healthy balance suitable for all partners.

It is okay to refuse to participate in an activity about which one feels uncomfortable. When declining, however, it is wise to offer options of other activities one is willing to try out.  Always allow one’s partner the freedom to share their fantasies openly and freely.

Accept that one’s partner may never grant some fantasies and choosing to enjoy sex regardless.

Keeping the right company of friends. Supporting a partner to get professional help if required and making it a family goal to leave together.

These are ways a couple can keep their relationship secure and the vows unbroken.

Next week we will look at healing from an affair.

Nancy Oblete

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