Often, the honeymoon phase comes to an end when the couple begins to become more aware of each other’s weaknesses.

This phase which I will like to refer to as ‘the disenchantment phase’, partners begin to get irritated by the very attribute about their partner that once attracted them. Quiet and patient begins to look more as ‘lily-livered’ slow—fun and exciting to be around, turns to talkative and noisy and so on.

We then take on the journey of seeking to make our partners same as us. ‘if you were only more outgoing you would be able to help me run my business better’. ‘you are too stingy even to yourself, lighten up a bit, learn to have some fun’.

Some couples get so consumed, seeking to change their partner that they inadvertently destroy their relationship, leading to isolation of the partners from each other.

In reality, this is where true love starts; accepting a person for who they indeed are and not what we hope s/he will be.

As we accept each other, we begin to enjoy the beauty our diversity brings to our relationship. The strengths that lie underneath the seeming weakness.

As we celebrate love this week, take some time out to look at those flaws that annoy you most about your partner and choose to see times that that same flaw made your life easier, even if it is just a bit.

May your love, grow!

Nancy Oblete

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