A newlywed young Jewish woman; Bluma Zeigarnik sat in a café in Vienna and watched as professional waiters listened and took large orders from a good number of people without writing anything down. Then she watched as the waiters hurried from table to kitchen to table remembering everything the customers asked for. However, when she […]
THE ZEIGARNIK EFFECT Read More »
Often, the honeymoon phase comes to an end when the couple begins to become more aware of each other’s weaknesses. This phase which I will like to refer to as ‘the disenchantment phase’, partners begin to get irritated by the very attribute about their partner that once attracted them. Quiet and patient begins to look
AFTER THE HONEYMOON Read More »
My earlier days with getting my daughter prepared for school and dressed for the cold often went something like this; Me; Eta the weather is cold, wear your cardigan Eta; I am not feeling cold, I don’t need the cardigan Me; please take your cardigan Eta; No Me; You are not leaving this house without
PARENT-CHILD CONTROL DRAMA Read More »
Do you and your partner have issues of which you have not been able to find a compromise? Does it feel like talking makes the situation worse? Does this conflict make you feel rejected by your partner? When you talk about it tempers flare, and you both end up hurting each other. Have you noticed
GRIDLOCKED CONFLICTS Read More »
During the holidays as part of our intimacy building activities, my husband and I spent some time discussing our differences and how it has impacted our relationship both positively and negatively. The exercise reminded us of how different we both are, and yet these differences hadn’t driven us apart. Most of our difference had never
ARE YOU THERE FOR ME? Read More »
The second reason people may have a challenge handling their conflict is their conflict resolution styles. There are three kinds of conflict resolution styles; the fighter, the avoider, and the resolver. THE FIGHTER: The fighter is that person who would generally have a screaming match. They say what they feel like they feel it, and
CAN WE TALK LIKE ADULTS? Read More »
Mary and her husband, David, are having another fight. Mary had only recently resigned her job to become a stay home mother to their two young kids; this was a decision she was happy-making, but the transition has not been smooth. She has become very irritable lately, and David frustrated with their many fights. As
VULNERABLE AND NOT AFRAID Read More »
During the very first year of our marriage, we were out with other family members, and my husband made a joke that everyone laughed at but me. When we were finally home I told him I wasn’t happy with the joke he made because I felt it put me in a bad light, he was
WHEN SORRY BECOMES RESPONSIBLE Read More »
Ever so often, couples have quarrels or conflicts where they say mean things to each other, criticise each other and are defensive. These words could hurt the partners and gradually destroy the relationship from within. But successful couple know how dangerous these words said in anger can be and what exactly to do about it
THE SECRET WEAPON OF RELATIONSHIP MASTERS Read More »
Our upbringing, environment and our significant emotional experiences shaped our lives. This help to structure our values, beliefs, attitudes, decisions, they even determine what we like or dislike and why. These three factors (upbringing, environment and significant experiences) that shaped us to the persons we are were all not pleasant experiences. Many of them occurred
ENDURING VULNERABILITIES Read More »
