Many people go into a relationship or are married because they need validation.
Their primary need in a relationship is closeness, so much so that they cannot set healthy boundaries. They find it difficult to let go even when the relationship is unhealthy for them.
The sad part is because of their neediness, many of these people fail in love too quickly, hence, choosing the wrong partner.
Below are 4 signs that you are anxious in relationships
- You Need A Relationship For Self-Affirmation:
Anxious people are unhappy when not in a romantic relationship; being in a relationship makes you feel valued. You regularly look to your partner for validation and approval; it is not uncommon for you to feel uncared for if your husband or wife does not notice your new hairdo or shirt.
- You Put Your Partner On A High Pedestal And Consider Yourself Lucky To Be Loved By Them:
Most people admire their partner; it is one ingredient that keeps the love flame alive in a relationship.
However, needy people’s admiration for their mate speaks of their low self-perception. You exaggerate the qualities of your lover while downplaying yours, sometimes even doubting that you deserve your partner.
You go out of your way to please them, your world revolves around them, and you follow, rarely having your own opinion.
- You Act Out And Have A Hard Time Not Making Relationship About Your:
Needy people have difficulty communicating their needs effectively, so they use ‘protest behaviours’.
Examples of protest behaviour include;
- Refusing to pick up your partner’s call – after all, you had called several times, and s/he did not answer.
- Calling repeatedly because your lover is not answering
- Going on a shopping spree or staying out late to get back at your mate
- Refusing to speak or engage with your partner; so they will notice you are angry
When things are not going right in the relationship, you believe it is your fault; you must have done something wrong, or your partner is no longer interested in you.
- You Are Preoccupied with The Relationship:
You are preoccupied with your partner and the relationship, especially when things are not going right. You find it difficult to concentrate at work or be productive at any other thing when you and your partner are disagreeing. Your relationship is your central focus, and doing other things well is tied to how the relationship is per time.
Read more about this in my free ebook, ‘Intimacy; A Guide to Strengthen Your Relationship.’