Most times, you can’t help who you get attracted to, but you can spot a relationship that will not be so fulfilling.
Sometimes, these signs can come up later in the relationship – when you hit a rough patch, but more often, you can see these small red flags from the beginning.
Below are some signs of an emotionally unavailable partner
- They Have Extremely High Expectations:
Their image of the ideal partner is unrealistic and inflexible. For these sorts of people, even when they meet a partner that meets 80% of their expectations, they will focus on the 20% lacking. Doing so is an unconscious way they maintain emotional distance in the relationship.
They exploit their partners’ weakness(s) to put them down because they feel powerful to the extent they make their partners weak.
- They Are Hesitant to Commit:
For emotionally unavailable people, commitment often feels like settling for less; remember that they have very high standards that no one can meet. They, therefore, delay commitment in hopes that they would meet ‘the right one’ who fulfils all of their requirements. As a result, they get married late.
It is not uncommon for them to break up a relationship without any warning, leaving their partner at a loss as to what happened.
- Emotionally Unavailable People Have a Tendency to be in Long-Distance Relationships:
They have a history of dating people who are physically distant from them or fall for partners they have known only for a short time. The relationship quickly fizzles out when the partner moves to their location or when they get very close emotionally.
While it may seem (from the above) that emotionally unavailable people are mean and evil, it is not the case.
These habits once served them; they helped them survive the relationship as a child with an unresponsive/aloof parent or in a previously challenging romantic relationship. It has become their default mode of relating with people they love, leaving them and their partners unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship or marriage.
Are you emotionally unavailable? Are you married to or in a relationship with one? You may need to get help from a coach or therapist.
My free eBook: ‘Intimacy; A Guide to Strengthen Your Relationship,’ can help you further understand what is going on and what you can do about it. Reach out to get a copy